You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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