If i come over, it means nothing
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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