I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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