there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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