did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
