My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
