you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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