I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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