YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
