At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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