p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
