How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
