I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
