Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I made him laugh his dick is mine
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
