No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Of course I have a pirate flag
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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