You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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