oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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