No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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