Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
