I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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