fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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