Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want to make out with him forever
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
