Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just found a bag of teeth...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
