Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
