White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
