So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
