Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
