I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
