I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
