she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize