Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
