Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
