So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
