i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
