But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Please, let me fuck your mom
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
