My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
