wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize