My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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