he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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