You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
