tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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