cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
