Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize