Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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