i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
