Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep