you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN