I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny