im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
