Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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