ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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