Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
