I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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