Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
