filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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