I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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