is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
