So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize