Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
