I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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