Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize