i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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